Saturday, July 05, 2008

DR WHO-writes-this-crap



I sat through the finale with my lad, because it's nice to do things together. But blimey...this was truly appalling.

I really don't know where to begin trying to analyse what was basically a butt-clenchingly, excruciatingly embarrassing SciFi pantomime. Coincidence piled on coincidence....exposition layered upon exposition, convenient gadget/plot device after convenient gadget/plot device, reunion piled upon reunion. Cheesey-weesey cartoon baddies monologuing like mad, naff dialogue from beginning to end. Clearly quite expensive stage set, badly over-lit with gaudy lights, MTV editing for over-sugared low attention-span kiddie-winks. The cornball romantic sub-plot with Rose, and that unfair slight of hand over the doctor's regeneration (specifically added to the story line to generate loads of tabloid press speculation as to whom would be brought in to play the next doctor) tsk tsk. Cheap shot.

Oh, I could go on and on.

Suffice to say this was the most awful example of (high budget) story-telling I've come across in quite some time. And that's saying a lot these days. About the only saving grace, were the plentiful and no doubt expensive CG shots, which were, you know...quite nice, but not anything I haven't seen before.

I know Dr Who is for kids. I know this is 'check-your-brain-in' entertainment, and believe me, I thoroughly enjoy big budget brainless sci-fi entertainment. I loved Aliens, Predator, 5th Element, Starship Troopers, Robocop, Waterworld, Independence Day etc etc. But this...this was so bad, so amateur it went sailing past being so-bad-it's-funny, to being so-bad-I-found-myself-nodding-off.

And yet, because it's DR WHO, because it's the good ol' BEEB, because it's become a British cultural icon it is forgiven everything - it's allowed to be utterly crap. In fact I suppose it's expected.

The only real silver lining to this ridiculous finale is that it marks the end of Russell T. Davies tenure as series exec' producer and lead script editor, and that job will now be passed onto to Steven Moffat (the guys who has written the better episodes eg: 'Blink').

What I shall hope for, when Dr WHO 'reboots' in 2010, is what I hoped for when the Doctor was revived in 2004(?) with Christopher Ecclestone as the timelord - something darker, smarter and basically...well, basically entertaining.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thankfully, someone who saw this episode as the most ridiculous waste of money it was. Here's the things I learned watching this episode:

Daleks are not scary. Oh, and they're obviously suicidal.
Wrinkled man-Dalek likes to explain to the viewer what exactly is happening and laughs maniacally every so often.
The Earth is free from the laws of physics and can be pulled back to it's solar system by a box that is God.
Donna can type and is not dead.
When saying someone will die, it is metaphorical and not to be taken at face value.
Martha has the worst plot line ever.
The Ood are not just telepathic, they can foresee the future and yet still manage to get blown up, enslaved etc.
Oh there's so much more to whine about but I'll stop there. A good, honest review there Mr. Scarrow.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely! Sooooo glad someone else thought the same.
I've never watched Dr Who, but a friend has kept telling me how fantastic it is. I thought it was ghastly. Wads of clumsy exposition, coincidences one after the other, utterly contrived in every way, awful cliched dialogue ... in fact, downright embarrassing. My first and LAST viewing!

Anonymous said...

My word, what a load of old cobblers the finale of Tennants excellent performance was.

I don't mind wobbly sets, I don't mind the odd ham happily chewing up the scenery and I certainly don't mind ropey effects if only we could have a good, solide coherent story for once ?

The Doctor falls from a spaceship flying at impossible speeds, crashes through a steel and glass roof and lands smack in the middle of the action. Result ? One slightly tarnished suit.

Oh dear me.

Thank which ever deity you subscribe to that Russell T Davies reign of dribble is over.

Can I ask just one question ? Why does he have to do everything on such an epic scale now ? An alien spaceship appears and yet the entire human race don't bat an eyelid and continue as usual without even a comment.

I never thouht I'd miss the 70's so much...

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Llansley said...

My goodness there are people who also hate doctor who. I'm saved. I thought it was loved universally. For what. Shit storyline/plot/acting/moral/directing/sfx/message. If you like it then you really must ask yourself why. It is the biggest pile of crap I have encountered. The spinoffs like torchwood and sarah jane are also just as if not more crap. Please guys stop watching scheisse like this and get watching proper TV. Seriously its supposed to be emotionally moving and all, but I've been more emotionally moved by top gear. Yeah it's that bad. Even when someone's dying. Even when someone is aiming a gun. Even when the universe is at risk. I just point and laugh at how crap the show is. The sfx aren't all that bad but the reason I hate them is because they're very shouty 'in ya face' type of sfx. In other shows they show amazing CGI and that's it. But in doctor who they make the CGI animations hideously long as if just to say 'hey look, we've got CGI did you know? Oh by the way did I mention, we have CGI did you know?' Yet it is somehow loved worldwide. People say its well written. No it isn't. Doctor who can escape the perfect prison with a noisy green laser pen. He can kill a ganger with it. And his TARDIS. He can escape yetanother pefect prison with it. I picture a BBC meeting in Wales where one writer says "Guys, I think we should come up with something new, something clever, a good plot for once so we can charm the viewers and show off our talents." And then all the others say "I think screwdriver kills aliens", "Yeah screwdriver". Then the original guy who spoke says "What the hell, we've only been doing this, what forty eight years. Yeah, manual labour scares me!" Then they share a guinness while coming up with the 'scheisse' we get every saturday evening. Can't they come up with something new. Oh and get good actors for pete's sake. Or actually check they can act before employing them. Those writers can do anything in the world, absolutely anything, bungee jump, skydive, anything, so long as it doesn't involve writing of any sort. And those actors can do anything in the universe but act. Except Karen Gillan, whose proved she can act for three minutes at the end of the fifth episode when she is asked to 'act' seducing someone.

Llansley said...

I also don't like the fact they're showing off. "We're in America, We're in America, We're in America (!)"
Guys I really don't care if you're filming in Turkmenistan as long as, for once, YOU GIVE ME GOOD QUALITY TELEVISION!
I thought Stevo Moffat was going to have a magnificent plot thread with River and the timelady girl. But no, he just went. "Mmm hmm, clever ending. Nah stuff it, river is just gonna be Amy's daughter because... well why? Ooh, I know lets shove a sex reference like I love to and say its because rory and amy had sex in the Tardis! GENIUS!"
Now because he has ruined River Song I just know he will ruin the silence as well.
People argue that a story arc like river song has lasted three series. No guys. A story arc is when every single episode inside the ark has had its plot changed because of the events taking place in the ark. Take star trek enterprise season three. All 26 episodes were linked beautifully with a magnificent twisting turning plot. With river song, she hasn't changed the plot of any episode she has been in except her debut.
Guys please I beg of you to let go of this scheisse and go watch proper TV. Please make the Beeb forget about this shit of a TV show.

Llansley said...

Please, find any dr who forum and post the two comments I made onto it, we have to get as many people off doctor who as possible so the BBC can stop making the scheisse. You can help this cause or else whovianism will spread like a virus over the face of humanity.

Llansley said...

As for Steven Moffat, he's the best doctor who writer, but that doesn't make him good. It's nothing to be proud of. Its like being proud of a meal you cooked that tastes better than eatingg out of the toilet.

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