Wednesday, May 30, 2007


Yup, given that it was her and tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum, it was obvious she was for the boot the moment the results of each team were read out.

I'll be honest, I've not been not a big fan of Naomi's. She seems sensible, smart, quite confident, articulate and so on. Very good suit fodder I imagine, but she makes for dull TV. Whilst Simon and Tre - tweedle-dumb and tweedle-dumber - on the other hand, are eminantly watchable buffoons.

Tonight's show, was undoubtedly Simon's show, once again. Selling a selection of products to a nation of QVC and auction channel addicts - "Mavis"s to use Katie's terminology. Well now, Simon's little task was to sell an exercise trampoline. I spurted my coffee over the desk when he was assembling that little trampoline, screwing the legs on...

(if you missed the show...he was screwing the legs on a small exercise trampoline. But the way he was holding the little legs in both hands, with the trampoline itself resting against his groin...well it looked very phallic)

...and the ill-conceived soundbites he was muttering as he worked at screwing on each stubby little leg, took on delightfully new meanings;

'...just grab the little thing in both hands...'
''ll get it off in a jiffy...'
', kids and adults can do this together...'

Ahh, it was priceless comedy. And then to add a whole new level of visual mirth to the proceedings, he decided to demonstrate the product by climbing on and bouncing up and down on top of it doing mincey little star jumps. For some reason he reminded me of Mr Bean.

The other moment worth a quick mention was Kristina's excruciating spell in front of the camera, fumbling with a floor mop and cursing 'Grrrrr Jeezuss Mother o' God Grrrrrr'. There was a hint of Reverand Iain Paisley in that gravelly twenty-a-day voice of hers, as she throttled the mop whilst trying to attach that daft-looking doily - the purpose of which I never really understood - to the top of it.

'Grrrr-feckin-bleedin'-little-shite-grrrrrr' (okay she didn't say that...but I'm sure she was thinking it)

Anyway, an odd, but very enjoyable show tonight. From this point on though, it gets serious. And I fancy next week the show's number one comedy couple (the tweedle twits) will finally be parted from each other.

That'll be a shame when it happens.

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